My Life Story: Day 17 by Justin Crombie

My Life Story
Day 17

by Justin Crombie

I blacked out. When I woke up, it was already game over. I couldn't sleep, I had the TV on all night on the Super Shopping Network channel, but I never took a look at it. I kept hearing Brigit's words over, and over, and over, and over, again. "I cared more about my past actions for an animal, than I did for anyone else", I hurt Elvira and Camilla was devastated. "I should've kept a low profile", from the very beginning.

All of this wouldn't have happened, if I just didn't show up. Mixology, it caused me to ruin lives... again - I got pissed off with myself. I wasn't happy with what I did, I started this, but I was unable to stop it. I was a monster. I wanted this all to have been a dream, or a nightmare, but it was all a reality. I wanted to enter an endless sleep.

I got up, and checked the time on my smartphone, it was the afternoon. I grabbed the bottle that I drank all night, and tried to finish it to the last drop, but there wasn't anything left. I tried to throw it, but I just couldn't. I went over to the mixology table to find another drink, to help me drown in my sorrows... but I never contain sorrows, or do I? It's been such a long time, that I had forgotten what it feels like.

I received a text message; it was from Matt. He said he heard the news, and that he didn't care what I did, since he'd somewhat been in the same position as me when he was younger - he's got to be joking. He said he had one last surprise for me, but it wasn't here yet, I just had to wait. Matt is full of surprises - literally. I had another text message, it was from Victoria Boxer that said to meet her at the bar.

I had already been drinking all night, so it was definitely a good idea not to drive, as I didn't have enough money, and that I was a bit frugal, I decided to walk there - or try to. I couldn't clear my mind, it was too packed. I didn't want to think about it anymore, I just wanted all of my thoughts to vanish, along with myself. I felt like throwing myself onto the road, but that would be an easy way out.

The thoughts, and memories, were still there, I felt sick, exactly like yesterday. I got out my smartphone, and began to look at information on Brigit's holiday resort, I should probably just accept the job offer. There's nothing else for me to do, all I do is wreck everything, but did I still have something to live for? Not anymore. I continued to drink, but it was only making me feel much worse.

Victoria finally showed up, even though that the news was out of there about me, and what I had done, I thought there was no way anyone was going to go near this bar. Somehow, there are still a few people here, either they didn't know about it, or it's Matt's celebrity status. Victoria greeted me, and told me to cheer up, but that was going to be impossible, she then bought us a couple of drinks.

She sat down next to me, as I stared down at the table, she said that there was nothing to worry about, everyone makes mistakes. She hasn't won me over, I didn't make mistakes, I made crimes. I was more pathetic than that guy at the park over a week ago. Victoria said I shouldn't worry about the past, and that I should only look forward to the future, but I've already been doing that, and it was almost working until I was interrupted.

I wanted to leave, I finally had enough, and she noticed. She said that I should just enjoy myself, and that the day had just begun. I closed my eyes wishing she'd leave, she let out a sigh and said to follow her, if I wasn't going to enjoy myself, she was going to help me.

I didn't feel like enjoying myself, but Victoria was very determined in trying to have fun. She dragged me to the elevator, and gave the signal to follow her in, but I couldn't move... she then grabbed my arm, and giggled as she pulled me into the elevator.



The pain was too much, I couldn't handle it anymore, it felt like I was going to explode.

I thought I was going to vomit at any second, even while in the elevator with Victoria. But all of a sudden, my feeling of sickness, gone... I just did it again... I can't stop what I started, but Victoria took advantage of me, but I took advantage of everyone else.

My mind went blank, but I didn't blackout, it was like it was suddenly deleting all of the data within my brain, as if I was about to be erased. I wanted it to happen, but was it an easy way out? As long as everyone else was happy, I didn't mind.

I started walking, but I didn't know where, as long as I was away from Bridgeport, I couldn't hurt anybody else, so as long as I was away from Bridgeport... the better.

As I dropped to the floor on my knees, I finally asked myself, why... why did I do this? I could have lived happily, or, I could have just fixed, what I had done... at the very beginning. I was guilty as charged, I was the one that hurt her first. I should have never started mixology in the first place.

Once again, I was being selfish, I let mixology take over my life, as I got too absorbed into the lifestyle. Picking up those glasses, was the biggest error I made, and along the way, I knew what I did wasn't a crime, it was a mistake. Something I always regretted doing, it hurt my best friend... my only, best friend.

I ran away. I just simply ran away from my mistake. We could have worked things out, but I chose the cowardly option. I broke my promise, I turned my back on her and ran away, I said that we'd be together forever. My pain of sickness gradually came back, but it wasn't the alcohol this time, it was the pain of loss... and after all of this time, and after all of these years, what I thought I had lost, appeared right in front of me.

Brooke...

I never thought I'd ever see her again, but why would she want to see me after what I did? I ruined her life. She kneeled down, greeted me and said that it's been a long time. I couldn't look at her, I just couldn't. She said that she saw my name in the paper, the day after the party, and said that she was a bit surprised that I had made the headlines. Apparently, Brooke was very pleased for me when she saw my name in the most recent paper.

Did she come all of the way here, just to tell me that? Brooke explained that she called the bar last night and wanted to contact me, I wasn't present at the time, but someone who was: Matt. She wanted to know where and when I'd be available, so Matt gave her my details, along with the bar address - just in case. Since I wasn't home, she went to the bar, but she saw me leaving and followed me here.

Brooke said she knows what has happened, including the stuff when I first arrived here, everyone knew as it was the talk of the town. In every building you walk into, it was immediately the first conversation. After a couple of minutes of nothing but the sound of nature around us, she asked if I would like to stay at a hotel for the night, to get away from the current affairs; I couldn't answer. Brooke let out a lamenting sigh, and said she knew this that would happen... I became, who I hated.

It happened all of the time, even when we were just kids, my mother would bring random male strangers to our house, and would just seduce them. Dad was either at work, or away. We didn't know what to do, we could have told dad, but he was already a troubled man, he didn't need more despair than what he already had. Brooke was lucky, Erika and I were the ones who had to suffer with it, constantly.

I was speechless, I didn't know how to react to it. When Brooke and Erika quietly went to her bedroom, they thought that it had affected me, mentally. It couldn't have affected Brooke, since she already had Paranoid Personality Disorder, so I thought it affected Erika, she was always shy, and couldn't talk to any other boys. One day, when this happened, I gazed into Brooke's eyes, and vowed, that I would never do this to her, and that I would always be there for her, forever.

We were teenagers, it was a school party that happened at the library. The teachers were disappointed that there weren't any mixologist, so I asked if I could be the official one of the night, to which they agreed, but only if I didn't cause any trouble. They kept their eye on me, but they weren't the only ones who kept their eye one.

I had never studied mixology before, and I got a bit cocky when flipping glasses, I was pretty decent. The drinks that everyone had, were mine, I got a bit too carried away and made quite a few, I don't think I should have. A couple of female classmates made their way to the mixology table and each took a drink, one of them began to compliment me on my skill, while the other stared at me, twirling her hair around her finger.

I was a bit clueless, so I thanked her and continued on with my next set of drinks, I didn't know that Brooke had been paying attention to the situation - very closely. As I was mixing ingredients, the two female classmates began whispering to each other, but it was inaudible to me, so I ignored it. When I slightly looked up, I noticed they were giggling, while look away - at Brooke?

The same one that complimented me, came back over to me, and started to talk to me while she playing with her earring. These two were up to something, but I was just a dumb kid, and didn't know what. She accidentally dropped the straw from her glass, and I left the table to pick it up for her, as she got down to also pick it back up, she grabbed my collar and pulled me closer, I was kissed on the lips before I knew it.

Brooke saw it happen. I was taken aback, and wiped my lips with my sleeve, I was tricked. I wanted to know why they did that, but I heard a noise, and when I looked over, Brooke was standing there... crying. And before I had a chance to explain anything, her PPD got the best of her...

I ran away. I just simply ran away from my mistake. We could have worked things out, but I chose the cowardly option. I was scared. I thought I could erase the pain of losing Brooke, but I only made it worse, by becoming, who I hated... and for the first time, in my entire life... I, actually cried...

I couldn't let her see me like this, I couldn't even raise my head. The only thing I could say, was that it was my fault. Brooke denied it, and said in a melancholic tone, that it was it her fault. She kissed the back of my head, as she stroked my hair. The last words, that I heard, before I finally broke down, were...

"I'm sorry..."

The End.